


i feel alone (i know i'm not)

by milkienns



Series: where we sang songs with all our childhood friends [3]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Gen, Platonic Relationships, Slice of Life, Talking, burning out, character study-ish?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:34:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27588215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkienns/pseuds/milkienns
Summary: dream feels crampedhe feels suffocatedwhat is wrong?===song inspired: i'm not dead - boyinaband
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), No Romantic Relationship(s)
Series: where we sang songs with all our childhood friends [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1990606
Kudos: 43





	i feel alone (i know i'm not)

today was tiring. but if dream were to look back at the week he had, he would probably say it was all tiring.

the days just meddled together with the way his routine so uneventfully went. wake up and shower, breakfast, maybe video call with drista, lunch, chat with his friends and go through his emails, dinner, try to be productive, fail, sleep and then rinse and repeat.

it was steadily draining his energy, killing his creativity, and leaving him tired and heavy. so fucking heavy.

it was another uneventful afternoon while he was lazily playing with patch's paw and giving her soft scratches that his phone buzzed lightly from where it's sat forgotten on the foot of his bed. turning sluggishly to pick it up, his other hand still preoccupied with his cat.

it was a message from george inviting him for a game of among us later.

he considered it. a game with his friends could help lift his spirits up for a little bit but then he recoiled at the thought that as soon as they finish playing he'd still accomplish nothing productive. he'd get nothing done and would ultimately still feel like shit.

**_george: you up for a game of among us later with the others?  
george: i'm not really sure who the others are but it's probably some other streamers_ **

_dream: i think i'll pass, don't really feel up to it at the moment_

he's just about to throw his phone back onto his bed when george's reply came back almost immediately. heaving a sigh at the need for social interaction, he turns on the screen again to read what george sent back.

**_george: you alright over there?_ **

_dream: yea i am, what makes you think not?_

**_george: idk you're just a lot more distant lately? or maybe i'm just over thinking this_ **

'had he been that obvious?' he thought as his thumb hovers over his keyboard, his other hand stopped petting patches for a second to think about what to reply. it was embarrassing to talk about, but it's been going on for so long now that dream feels like he might actually drown in this heavy feeling if he doesn't do anything about it.

it was starting to become suffocating and patches was the only thing keeping him afloat lately. maybe talking about it can help him get his head out of the clouds and see what's wrong with his brain recently.

_dream: it's  
_ _dream: idk_

**_george: so you're not ok?_ **

_dream: i just feel tired? completely drained for no reason at all and i just feel cramped_

**_george: wow, what exercise did you do this time?_ **

_dream: that's kind of the thing. i haven't done anything productive for weeks now and i feel like shit about it ://_

it feels weird putting it out there. despite the guilt becoming more and more present in the pit of his stomach, there's also the sense of closure of finally getting it out of his chest and putting in words for someone other than himself.

**_george: you feeling burned out?_ **

_dream: probably? what does that mean?_

dream finds himself zoning out a bit as he watches george's bubble chat pop in and out of sight for a few seconds as he waits for the other male's explanation. patches had abandoned him when he stopped petting her in favor of chatting with george with both hands.

**_george: burn out is pretty normal for people. it's when someone feels tired and doesn't feel motivated to care of do anything._ **

he blinked at the words, rereading it over and over again and- well, what was he supposed to feel now that he had a word for it? it fits perfectly almost, but it doesn't change the fact that he's still unmotivated to get anything done.

_dream: that sounds about right i guess_

**_george: burn out is normal for everyone. you'll get out of it sooner or later_ **

_dream: i hope so, burn out isn't fun at all_

**_george: have you tried talking to someone about it? like maybe let them help you out of it_ **

_dream: i don't really feel like playing with you guys_

**_george: no silly, asking people close to you like your sister or family_ **

the thought of talking to his family about how he's doing had crossed his mind more than once during his video calls with drista and his mother but there are also thoughts stopping him from actually telling them, stopping the words that sat just at the tip of his tongue. thoughts that tell him that maybe he'd just be burdening them and that he didn't even know what his own problem was.

_dream: no, i don't know how to tell them about this_

**_george: just tell them what you told me_ **

_dream: it's different when it's with you_

'oh boy, now i've done it' he grimaced with a quiet curse to himself as george stopped typing for a few seconds before the bubble popped up again.

**_george: what do you mean?_ **

_dream: i don't know how to explain it exactly  
_ _dream: it's just easier? to talk to you than my family when it comes to stuff like this dream: i'm not saying i hate my family btw  
dream: maybe it's because it's easier to type it out than actually talk about it to people closer to me like... it feels less of a burden on them?_

that sounds so wrong- that sounds like dream doesn't care about george at all and he immediately regrets sending the message before he could think about it properly because it's so far from the truth. he has never met george in person before but that doesn't warrant the fact that he doesn't care for the older.

george hasn't responded to any of his messages yet. dream hasn't seen his bubble pop up at all and that's probably the most worrying part.

is he just going to leave him on seen? did dream accidentally hurt or annoy him so now he's just pretending to pay attention for dream's sake? anxiety crawls up to his throat again as he finds himself staring anxiously at george's stupid g icon and backpedaling.

_dream: i'm sorry for dumping all that onto you like that, i don't mean to make it look like i don't care about you  
dream: bad wording bad wording_

he curls in on himself on his bed pathetically, the hand holding his phone limp on the soft cushion and he avoids thinking about it, avoids thinking about how he probably just threw his bad vibes and emotions into george's business.

george didn't deserve this, didn't deserve to put up with his incessant worrying and problems.

his phone buzzed again and dream took a deep breath before cautiously opening the screen again.

**_george: no, i get it i think george: i probably wouldn't be able to say a lot about myself to my family even if i tried_ **

_dream: yea?_

**_george: yea_ **

it was a half-assed answer and attempt at trying to understand his place but dream still found himself smiling softly and shoulder sagging down in relief regardless.

maybe it's because they're friends, maybe it's because he doesn't directly see the real way george reacts, or maybe george is right when he says it's normal for everyone. all dream knows is that when he's done chatting with george for the rest of the day until late at night, he feels strangely contented with himself for the first time in weeks despite not having done all that much.

**Author's Note:**

> is this relatable or is this just me lol?  
> like i feel like venting out to my mom but just as i'm about to do it the words just don't come out
> 
> i was feeling rlly burned out for not being a good artist or writer and just ended up writing all of this lmao
> 
> hope you enjoyed this


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